He really is just the best man in the world for me. I could end the post there, but we all know I won’t.
I was going to let it go. I was going to try and take the advice in the spirit in which (I hope) it was intended and focus on the love. I’ve been trying so damn hard to see the good and find the freaking positivity but this is crap and I’m pissed!
He just wouldn’t. EVER. take. my. child. He just wouldn’t. Ok – if I was actually going to harm him I can trust that Dork Dad would remove Tiny Tyrant from my care. I can also trust that he would get me the very best help he could and that he would try to put our family back together in a way that was healthy for all of us.
I know, that’s a lot of trust, but I have a lot of trust in him.
In my family there has never been a lot of trust in relationships and marriage. There are divorces, secrets, abuse and shall we say… overlapping relationships… There are lies and there are struggles for power and respect. This is not to say that there isn’t love and kindness and blah, blah, blah – but I’m describing a world view here – we do not see the best in people.
That’s never what I wanted. I wanted to see the best. I wanted to find THE ONE. I wanted to learn how to make it work and I wanted to do better. Better than what my parents did to each other and better than what my siblings and I had.
When I think of Dork Dad I melt a little bit. The first thing I think of is the word decent. He is a good man down to his core. He is kind and strong and smart and sexy. He is patient and honest and he will put up with my crap, but not my shit. (He can also be a massive pain in the ass, but that’s yet another post for yet another day!)
He hides ’emergency chocolate’ in the house for me. He doesn’t shave, for me. He warns me before he gets a haircut. He worries about my sleep and about my trying to do too much. He supports me financially while I am trying to get my business off the ground and NEVER ONCE, NOT ONE TIME, has he made me feel like he’s ‘in charge’ of the purse strings. He saw when I was drowning and he urged me to get help. He listens when I can talk and he reads when I have to write it out. He tells me he loves me every single day. He remembers everything. He got my mom a condolence card because my uncle died. It was so sweet it brought me to tears. He tries to understand all the crazy that is me. He tells me that everything will be ok. He surprised me on Sunday by having the kitchen floor gleaming when I woke up.
He was the first one to feed our son. He changed the first diaper. He has huge hands that are so gentle when they hold tiny ones and he is the reason that boy farts like a trucker. He’s been right by my side in the battle for just one good night of sleep and he is the creator of Daddy’s Bath Time Aquatic Educational Extravaganza. He does different voices for all of the characters in each book.
He loves us. He cares for us. He keeps us safe. He teaches us things. He learns from us. He makes us a priority. He lets us care for him. He openly accepts and delights in our love for him.
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