I’m 35 today.
I can say, for pretty much the first time ever, that I am proud of the woman that I am. I am proud of the mother that I am. I am proud of the daughter, sister and friend that I am. I am proud of the girlfriend that I am. I am proud of the business owner that I am. I am proud of the mental health warrior that I am.
In general I’m not that good at gratitude. I can always see the problems, the cracks, the things that are missing. I usually feel that I am bad or wrong in some way and I cover those hurts with anger. It’s hard to get gratitude through all of that.
For a long time my depression wasn’t apparent because my life was, in fact, shitty. Depression seemed like the appropriate reaction to my circumstances. I was caught in a cycle that I am just now beginning to understand through therapy.
A couple years ago I began to change. I started working towards becoming the woman that I am now. I didn’t have this goal in mind – I really had no concrete idea where I was heading but I did know that I wanted to be better.
I started to take chances on myself. I went back to school, I got a new job, I set up an online dating profile.
That all led to Dork Dad and the love of my life, your Tiny Tyrant.
Here’s what has crystallized for me in the last couple of days – I was already depressed. I was clinically depressed for YEARS. It wasn’t until I had the baby that I recognized that something was wrong with me. Now I can name my demons. Now I can fight my demons.
I am a 35 year old mother of one. I have an amazing man in my life who loves me and supports me and my dreams. I am a small business owner. I am an advocate for women and families dealing with Depression and Anxiety. I am a blogger, friend, sister and daughter. I AM SO MANY THINGS!
I am grateful for all the parts of me and all of the things that I am. Life, kiddos, is good.
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