I’ve been buying the wrong size bra all of my life. The right fit was a revelation that I can’t really explain. Things were lifted and supported and everything just… worked. It was a big deal. A huge big deal.
It got me to thinking.
I may not have the support I want from the people I want it – BUT – I do have amazing support all around me.
Dork Dad and I have figured out a system that works for keeping the house (reasonably) clean. He makes a list two to three days ahead of time of little projects that he’s going to do. This week’s list is
1) Trim the hedges and sweep the front.
2) Kitchen Counters
3) Kitchen Floor
He cleans those areas and I tackle whatever I can each day. Having less clutter and feeling like we’re partners in taking care of the house keeps me on a more even keel. I have less anxiety, less freak outs and we’re both happier. He tackles each project after your Tiny Tyrant’s bath time and before dinner. That 20 minutes a day has helped me SO MUCH.
My very best bestie is coming to visit me soon. She probably doesn’t even know how I am counting the days until I can see her and planning ALL THE FUN! The fun will really just be us going out to dinner and getting some drinks at a cool new cocktail bar I found. But still… Knowing that I will get to talk to her face to face – that I’ll get a hug and a chance to relax in a way you can only do with a good girlfriend… it helps me hold on.
~myMom from So Much For the Mother of the Year Award has an uncanny way of reaching out to me at the exact moment I need it. She’s kind of freaky that way. I had a really hard day – depression was twining itself around my ankles and weighing down each step I took. My phone buzzed. It was a message from ~myMom telling me that she was sending me home made cookies. It’s the little things, kiddos. You never know what some small, thoughtful gesture can do for someone else. I’m sure that they will be amazing when they get here, but just knowing that she took the time to bake something for me, that she thought of me and wanted to do something nice – that matters more than I can say.
My head shrinker is pretty awesome. She is quiet and calm and centered – all the things I am not. She is also ridiculously smart, she understands me even when I can’t finish a sentence and she doesn’t let me get away with any crap. We’re raising my medication levels after a prolonged battle. She was right. I need a floor through which I cannot sink. It would be wonderful if I could create that myself, but at the moment I can’t. She’s helping me to understand and forgive myself and to get out of my own way.
Last but never, ever least, is The Queen from DeBie Hive. Have you ever met someone and just clicked? That’s how I felt when I ‘met’ The Queen. In these past couple weeks as I have found myself sucked deeper and deeper into the crap I have also found myself unable to write. That has been one of the worst parts. Bad writing hurts me kiddos. You have NO IDEA how many things I’ve deleted lately. When it is really bad I go over to her Facebook page or her blog and there it is – the exact thing that I wanted to communicate! The best part is that she is a wonderful writer. She is saying what I want to say and in a way that is probably better than I could say it. I should be jealous, but I’m just so thankful. Also – I feel like if we met in real life we’d end up playing board games and talking all day.
I’m not very good at this gratitude thing. I tend to see the pain and the dark instead of the happy and the light. But I’ll work on that. Thank you all for being here, for reading and commenting here and on the book of faces. Thank you for being my support system.
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