I’ve had postpartum depression, and postpartum anxiety, and PTSD. I’ve felt a million feelings at once and sometimes I’ve felt nothing at all. What I never really felt was ‘depressed’. My journey with maternal mental illness began with rage. Rage was a monster that abducted me and left me stranded, disconnected from my family and my friends, disconnected from my life.
When most people think of postpartum depression they see a crying mother in their heads. Maybe they see that cartoon woman from the pharmaceutical commercial who wandered around with a rain cloud over her head. That was never me. My rain cloud was obliterated by the red hot fires of rage, frozen by anxiety, obscured by the fog of disconnection.
These are some of the symptoms of postpartum depression:
- Irrational Fear
Almost a million moms will develop a maternal mental illness every year. Yet we know that only 15% of moms will seek treatment. Is it because they just don’t know that what they’re feeling, what I felt, is postpartum depression? If more Ob/Gyns, lactation consultants, doulas, moms and dads understood the symtptoms of postpartum depression would that number go up?
Listen mamas, it’s not supposed to hurt this bad. It truly is not supposed to be this hard. You are not alone. You can get better. There is help. I need you to reach out. Reach out to me, reach out to your local support group, reach out to a national group. We are here for you.
For a full list of postpartum depression symptoms broken down in ‘Plain Mama English’ click here.
What were your symptoms? Leave them in the comments!
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