You can’t remember where you first heard them. You probably don’t know if you truly believe them, but these five myths about motherhood may be ruining your life. They are everywhere and they are NOT TRUE. As mothers, we need to break free of the myths and lies that are holding us back.
YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL
Ummmm. No. Sorry. You can’t. There is no man, woman, or child on this earth who does not have to prioritize and make choices. This is simply a fact of life. Stop chasing the idea of having it all and start focusing on the idea of having what is truly important to you.
THERE IS A PERFECT MOM
There is. She lives in the imaginations (and sometimes the social media profiles) of the more than 2 billion mothers around the world. That is the only place she lives. It’s the only place she CAN live because she inhales lies and exhales guilt. Kick her out of your head and off of your newsfeed and free yourself to be a good enough mother.
OUR MOTHERS (or grandmothers) DID IT ALL
Nope. They really didn’t. They certainly didn’t do it alone. They had messy houses or messy relationships. They had dreams deferred and hard choices. They had pain and they had to deal with us! I was an angel, but I bet some of y’all weren’t quite so easy. A lot of them also had more community, less expensive daycare, and no internet. Your mom wasn’t Donna Reid or Claire Huxtable, those women don’t exist.
FATHERS CAN’T HANDLE IT
The it can be anything from a cold to a toddler, but the truth is that they can actually handle it. If you were abducted by aliens tomorrow they would not fall down and die. They won’t do it the way you do. They might not do things in the time you would. But they can actually do things. They are grown adults and they are parents. Your martyrdom is not quite as necessary as you think it is.
YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE THIS
Not alone, you’re not. No. Humans are communal animals. None of us were meant to do this alone. It is time to call in backup. That may be a partner or spouse, family, friends, or paid help. It might mean reaching out to the moms who intimidate you at school drop-off or the father of your kid’s best friend. Start being honest when people say, “How are you?” and see what happens.
You can change things. It isn’t too late, it won’t be too hard. You do not have to stay stuck. Sign up below to get 10 Steps to Getting Your Life Back. You start walking and I’ll walk with you.
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