I get asked this question all the time. As soon as I tell people that my focus is self-care for moms I hear stories about how uncomfortable they are getting massages or how mani-pedis never make them feel special. “I’m just no good at relaxing”, they say. You’re not alone in thinking that you don’t like self-care, or that it isn’t for you.
But here’s the thing – what you were trying is not self-care.
Self-Care is not taking a bubble bath by candlelight. It isn’t reading from your book of affirmations each day or learning how to art journal. It is taking the time to uncover who you are, what you need, and giving that to yourself.
We have taken the SELF out of self-care in a bid to make it one size fits all. And I understand that! You can’t make money off of individualization. Well, not the kind of money that the Health & Beauty industry is looking for.
Self-care starts with YOU. Who are you? What do you want? What lights you up and motivates you? What frustrates and stalls you? Once you have the answers to these questions you can start to make changes in your life, simple changes, that will bring you joy and clarity and reduce exhaustion and overwhelm.
Once you know that you need silence and that you get your best ideas in the water you can start swimming laps at your local gym early in the morning, or take a bubble bath after the kids are asleep.
Once you know that you need exercise and that you miss having music in your life it becomes clear that you need to choose a Zumba class or start taking Salsa lessons instead of reading.
And once you clear out the lies and guilt in your head and realize that the longest, deepest, and most profound relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself, it becomes easier to make these changes.
If you’re thinking that you just don’t like self-care, I’d say that you’re missing the “Self” part. Download the 5 Myths of Motherhood and you’ll also get a 10 step blueprint for making yourself a priority in your life. Get started today!
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