I believe that those who mother are just as important as their babies and children. The culture of Sacrificial Motherhood isn’t healthy for parents or children and I am sick of it.
I refuse to be a Sacrificial Mother.
My motto is, “Be the one you needed” and that is why this business exists. During my first pregnancy everyone focused on the baby. My health was important only in relation to the baby. I stopped being seen as a person and turned into a mother.
After a dangerous and traumatic birth I got hit with postpartum depression and anxiety. I struggled through recovery so that I could be a better mother for my son.
By the time my second pregnancy rolled around I knew that this was not what I wanted, I didn’t want to be ‘just a mom’. But I had no idea how to break out of the bonds of the Sacrificial Mother.
If you’re a person of a certain age you may remember the Marlo Thomas song, “Parents Are People” from the album Free To Be You and Me. It was a collection of stories and songs for woke kids before we knew what woke meant.
Mothers are people,
People with children,
When mothers were little, they used to be girls
Like some of you,
But then they grew.
I loved that song. It was a lie.
Our culture does not see mothers as people. To enter into the bonds of motherhood is to shed your humanity and become a sacrifice.
It’s killing us.
And it does not have to be this way.
We have the power to save our own lives. We have the power to save each other. We can pull each other out of the darkness and we can remake the world.
We can clear away the fog of sacrifice and learn to see ourselves clearly. We can meet the people we were before children entered our lives and we can reconcile with them. We can take control of our present and move forward into our futures with confidence.
I am a Motherhood Life Coach. My approach to coaching is based on the belief that you must be a priority in your own life in order to thrive. And I want us all to thrive.
My work is heavily influenced by the thoughts and writings of Audre Lorde, Maya Angelou, and Tara Mohr. These women taught me that our most influential and imperative relationship is the one we have with ourselves. We must care for ourselves at least as well as we care for our children. Shrinking does absolutely nothing to make our lives better, and playing small serves no one.
I have an International Coaching Certification through the CCA and I have also trained with Postpartum Support International. I’m a mom dork. I surround myself with those who mother – read about them, talk to them, coach them, and learn from them.
I created The SelfCare Squad on Facebook as a sanctuary and think tank for women, femmes, and gender non-conforming persons to discover what self-care truly means to them and how they can use it to thrive. It is my favorite place on the internet.
I am a self-care evangelist. I’ve written for mental health online publications, been a guest on podcasts, and spoken at conferences about motherhood and self-care.
I’m a survivor of postpartum depression and anxiety and I live with PTSD. This informs my work as an advocate for parental and family mental health. I’m a board member of Postpartum Support Charleston and a founding member of The Postpartum Collective, an online meeting place for stakeholders in parental mental health.
In October of 2017 I will host the inaugural http://selfcareincolor.comSelfCare In Color Virtual Retreat, a week- long video and interview series on self-care for black women. The retreat will offer a respite from the toxic climate of racism and misogynoir that permeates our culture and our media.
I believe that those who mother are just as important their babies and children. This is the bedrock of all of my work. We can break down oppressive walls and mother a whole new world with this conviction. And it starts with you.
I am a coach
- I am a coach for expecting parents. I will be your ‘virtual doula’ and help you to navigate this huge change. (Pro-tip: yes, you still need a coach after your first child)
- I am a coach for those who mother. Because you are more than a mother, you are a human being.
- I am a coach for survivors of parental mental illnesses. Recovering from your recovery is the next step to healthy motherhood.
- I am a speaker. If you would like me to address your group or conference on self-care, motherhood, or maternal mental illnesses you can reach me at Graeme@postpartummama.org.
- Podcasters – let’s talk about how we can break the chains of Sacrificial Motherhood and what self-care really means (hint: it has nothing to do with bubble bath). Let’s talk about how mental illness is stigmatized, especially for mothers and especially in communities of color. See that email address up there? Go for it!
- I am also a writer and am working on my first book, The Sacrificial Mother. You can follow my progress and read chapters and drafts on my Patreon page.
I’d love to connect with you on social media. It has been an amazing tool to create virtual villages of support. Women, femmes, and gender non-conforming folk are welcome to join me in The SelfCare Squad.
You can also sign up for my Mama Mail – weekly emails from me to you that arrive every Monday morning and help you get your week started off right. Because you matter, mama and I am in your corner.
Thank you for being here with me. It means so much to be seen.
Until we meet again, take good care of yourself.
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Start each week with an email reminder that you are worthy and deserving of care. Get practical tips to make self-care a part of your life.